Still a Monster - Camille Allee

Still a monster—I know I am. My shaky breaths tell my story But that is not my truth. I want to start over. 

A new morning dawns Soft tangerine drapes the horizon.

But I see the crimson staining the clouds Like the echoes of bloodstained fingerprints. And I see the crimson staining my hands Like the echoes of bloodshed.

Some things never change Down in the village, The people will not understand the scarlet sky I have painted. Why should they change for me? Their eyes are closed when mine weep and They will never be able to Look past my mistakes Just as I cannot.

Regret stabs me, Bloody rivers of guilt dripping into the sky.

Red like My red hands But the sky is color of My red heart.

Rain crashes down Washing my hands clean I cry tears of relief I wish for forgiveness to pour down on me But The sky is still red Am I still a monster? No Because my bloodied hands have been erased. Perhaps The sky will always stay red But I know what I am:

Not a monster.

Not a monster. I know what I am, But The sky will always stay red. Perhaps Because my bloodied hands have been erased? No.

Am I still a monster? The sky is still red.

But I wish for forgiveness to pour down on me, I cry tears of relief, Rain crashes down

My red heart. But the sky is the color of My red hands,

Red like Bloody rivers of guilt dripping into the sky.

Regret stabs me. Just I cannot Look past my mistakes, They will never be able to. Their eyes are closed when mine weep and Why should they change for me? The people will not understand the scarlet sky I have painted Down in the village.

Some things never change

Like the echoes of bloodshed.

I see the crimson staining my hands Like the echoes of bloodstained fingerprints. But I see the crimson staining the clouds. Soft tangerine drapes the horizon, A new morning dawns;

I want to start over.

But that is not my truth. My shaky breaths tell my story; I know I am Still a monster.